South Carolina Recruiting Bowl

What you see here is what I like to call Fake Hype. Clemson is very good at fake hype. They brainwash their freshman into thinking God himself couldn't make a creation to top their campus (did I mention it is an exact replica of Auburn's campus?). Have you ever heard a Clemson alumn ever say anything about their school that didn't use absolute terms in describing the greatness that they [wrongfully] think it is?

That's where this picture comes in. This is the "lifesize" heisman poster put out by Clemson before the beginning of the season. The only problem is that not-unlike Clemson's view of itself, this poster is larger than life. The poster is 6 feet tall, which is taller than even brand new cleats and sole inserts could make C.J. Spiller. Just check his stats and look at the poster next to Clemson coach/insurance salesman, Dabo Sweeney. In case you didn't know Dabo is just a phoenetic spelling for what his relatives used to call him when he was a youngin'. Slightly smarter people would have enunciated Dabo into Dat Bo...or Dat Boy...or finally...That Boy.

If you can't tell yet, there is a special kind of hatred reserved for Dat Boy and his team (mainly his team and its fans). The only problem is that we play them after getting beat on by the SEC for a whole season (where we usually become bowl eligible early and then go cold during the home stretch), while Clemson gets to beat up on the likes of Wake Forest, Duke, North Carolina, NC State, and Virginia to build their false sense of confidence going into the finale.

Granted, Spiller did have a great game or two on offense this season (one game where he ran, threw, and received a touchdown in the same game). But, his main damage has come on special teams this year. Therefore, he can be negated and they can be beaten; just ask Maryland...who lost to William and Mary but beat Clemson.

So what happens tomorrow during this game? No one knows with these two teams. There have been too many blowouts, too many head-scratchers, and too victories for the the kings of Fake Hype. At some point if I am going to claim all of the hype is fake, the Gamecocks are going to have to expose the fraud. The Gamecocks are going to have to kick away from Spiller, shut him down on the run, shut him down in the slot, and thoroughly pound his defense to keep him off the field. The game is in Columbia at noon, so in order to enjoy the rest of the day, the Gamecocks are going to have to send the Tigers back to the cow pastures with the hype, hopes, and self image shattered. I want and expect nothing less.

Go Gamecocks!

The Battle for the Golden Egg 2009

Last year's Battle for the Golden Egg was never in doubt. Ole Miss scored 45 points and State gained 37 yards. It was one of the most enjoyable, humiliating defeats I have ever witnessed.

Mississippi State has improved this year. But, could they really have gotten any worse?! I haven't been back to Starkville in close to 11 years. I swore that I never wanted to return and have kept that pledge. State will probably make this game closer than it was last year - and they always try to incite a fight during the pre-game activities. I expect nothing different from the Hunchback of the Golden Triangle, Dan Mullen.

Dexter McCluster only needs 97 yards rushing to become the 4th player in Ole Miss history with 1000+ yards in a season. Look for Dex to get that and then some and look for the Landsharks to shut Anthony Dixon down. This one will appear to be close until the 3rd quarter when the Rebels will wear the helpless, hapless, hopeless Leghumpers down.

The Golden Egg remains in its rightful place - Oxford.

Ole Miss 34
Mississippi State 13

FORWARD REBELS!

Iron Bowl 2009

OK, here's a different perspective:

Auburn finishes up the regular season on the plains against dreaded rival Alabama. Auburn comes in hobbling, starting the season strong with five consecutive wins, only to drop 4 of the last 6, including losses by 7 to both Georgia and Kentucky. Many of Auburn's players (Todd, Ziemba, Trott, etc.) look confused, making mistakes that you'd expect freshmen to make. On the other hand, Alabama is riding a high that, with this win, could mean two straight undefeated regular seasons. There is talk of Ingram winning the Heisman (a long shot, considering who is in this pool), and McElroy is back to his early season form.

I think Auburn may be in this game early, but expect Auburn to fall apart around the 3rd quarter when their depleted team becomes too tired to hang with Alabama. Alabama will look to exploit this weakness on the offensive side with constant running to set up the pass; they will look to exploit this weakness on the defensive side with pressure on Todd, who does not know what to do under pressure.

As much as I'd like to see Auburn win this game, I don't think they are on the same par as Alabama. I'd like to see a close game, but that too will not happen. Prediction: Alabama 34, Auburn 17.

Iron Bowl 2009

The final game of Alabama's regular season is upon us. But before the trip to Atlanta to take on the Gators and then (hopefully) a Championship bowl game in Pasadena, there's arch-rival Auburn. Bama will travel to the plains of Auburn in hopes of retaining the Foy-ODK Sportsmanship Award trophy. This will be the first Bama-Auburn game on a Friday in 21 years. The deck is stacked against the Tigers in this game, but anything can happen.

Auburn's OL is experienced, but thin. They have been lucky to avoid injury here all season. Their rushing attack is lead by Sr. Ben Tate. Tate believed he was the best RB in the state, but forgot about Mark Ingram. If Auburn was actually in Georgia, as some people believe, Tate may be correct.

QB Chris Todd has been inconsistent this season for the Tigers, but is still a quality SEC player. His numbers have been similar to Greg McElroy's. Auburn will have their work cut out for them moving the ball on this Alabama defense. OC Gus Malzahn is a master of misdirection, but a team as disciplined as Alabama should be effective if they play assignment football. Alabama will still try to get to Todd early in the game. Look for blitzes by Sr. Javier Arenas, who is as effective in tackles for loss as he is in returning punts. Other than that, Alabama knows they have a talent advantage. They will play a basic defense and rely on talent and depth to avoid tiring from Malzahn's high-tempo offense.

Alabama will counter as they have all season, with a bruising running game and play action passing. Bama leads the SEC in rushing offense. Auburn is last in the SEC in rushing defense. It does not take a "rocket surgeon" to realize this could be a problem for the Tigers. The fact that Auburn's defense is dinged up from injuries and lack of depth will not help their performance. If LB Eltoro Freeman is not cleared to play, you can bet Ingram will have a performance worthy of a Heisman trophy.

Although I always get nervous at this game, I think the Tide will take care of business. Alabama wins 31-10.

Cochon de lait

My bad. You probably thought you were going to get a picture of the special edition Nike Combat uniform that LSU will sport for the game against Arkansas.

In recognition of LSU fans' affinity for consuming the flesh of its opponents' mascots, Nike has given Oregon a sabbatical from it's role as experimental palate and has developed a new uniform for the Saturday afternoon game against the Hogs - amusingly named "Cochon de lait". Translated, it literally means "suckling pig" or "pig in milk." Much as in North Carolina and Alabama, however, where "barbecue" can be a verb or noun, "cochon de lait" is often used to describe the entire suckling pig-cooking and -eating process.

Regardless of how you feel about the uniform, if you're a Tiger fan, you have to appreciate the diversion from a couple of concerning similarities to the end of the 2008 season. All conspiracy theories regarding Coach Miles' instructions to or not to "clock" the ball with 0:01 left in regulation aside, watching the offense's heroic comeback effort last week fail only because of the team's incredulity at having actually converted on 4th-and-26 is enough to shake any fan's confidence. And that's just the aside on another troubling trend: LSU is 0-2 the last two seasons while heavily favored against Arkansas. They only have Houston Nutt, Darren McFadden and Felix Jones to blame for one of those losses. This time, the best passing quarterback in the SEC has a real chance to make it three-straight (only this time, the line isn't so large).

Earlier this season, I thought it was a matter of time before LSU's running game dominated a game. Surely, then, they would start looking like themselves (ball control, pressure from the defensive line, the occasional razzle dazzle). Now, after Charles Scott and Keiland Williams have played their last downs as Tigers, even I am convinced that Jordan Jefferson is going to have to win the next two games. In a shootout with Arkansas, I don't know if I like those odds.

See you in Atlanta???

Picks - Week 13

Our standings (last week, overall):

Chuck Visor: 4-4, 54-33

Drake McHugh, Esq.: 6-2, 50-37

Max Power: 5-3, 48-30

Brocktoon: 6-2, 45-42

Full Monte Kiffin: 3-5, 42-35

Carter Slade: 3-5, 28-24

Woody Widenhoefer: 0-0, 22-18

Dick C'est Bon: 0-0, 14-12

Arnold Porkzenegger: 0-0, 3-4

Herschel Talker: 0-0, 0-1

11/27/09

Alabama (-10) at Auburn (CBS 1:30 PM) - The Iron Bowl. Intense Rivalry. Throw out the records. Except don't really. The favorite usually wins this game. Auburn just doesn't have the talent to compete with Bama, especially on defense. Auburn won't be able to move the ball on Bama's stout defense. Bama rolls by more than 10. Bring on the Gators.

11/28/2009
Clemson (-3) at South Carolina (ESPN 11:00 AM) - Clemson has been surging of late, winning 6 in a row since starting the season 2-3, winning their division, and setting up a rematch with GA Tech for the ACC championship. SC is on the opposite trajectory, having started the season 5-1 but now sitting at 6-5. The 'Cocks last win was 10/24 against Vandy. Clemson will win by more than three, and begin yet another round of "How long will Spurrier stay at South Carolina" speculation.

Ole Miss (-8) at Mississippi State (SEC Network 11:21 AM) - The Egg Bowl. Ole Miss is on a bit of a roll, coming off home wins against Tennessee and LSU. How will they play in Starkville with a new-look Mullen-led Bulldog team looking to avenge last year's embarrassing loss? Pretty well, I'd say. Still, I think the LSU game took a lot out of the Rebs. I think they'll win, but I think maybe MSU keeps it close. I'll take the cowbells and the points.

Florida State (+24.5) at Florida (CBS 2:30 PM) - How much pleasure can one take from beating up on a confused, old man? Trick question: Mayer's CPU is not programmed to experience what you humans call emotions. His phasers are set to "dominate" and that's what his team will do? But not by 24.5. Not with Bama next week with a chance for another NC on the line. Gators win in a blowout, just not a 25 point blowout.

Tennessee (-3) at Kentucky (ESPNU 6:00 PM) - this is the toughest pick of the week for me. UT seemed depleted in their game against Ole Miss. Plus, have you heard they'v had some off-field distractions? A tune-up against Vandy may be just what the Vols needed. The Wildcats just beat Georgia in Athens and earlier this year beat Auburn in Auburn. UK is 7-4 and a win over UT would make them the 2nd place team in the East. Wildcats at home and a 3 point 'dog makes me pick UK in what I expect to be a game that could go either way.

Arkansas (+3.5) at LSU (ESPN 6:00 PM) - This is another tough game to pick. I can see Mallet and the Hogs shredding a Tiger team still hungover from the "debacle in Oxford." If the game comes down to 4th quarter time-management, I'll take the shark-eyed Petrino's team 8 days a week. So, I guess I'll take the soowee pigs, minus the points.

Georgia (+7.5) at Georgia Tech (ABC 7:00 PM) - I expect Ga Tech to win in a shootout. The Jackets would have approximately the same defensive stats on the year if they just put 11 homeless Atlanta panhandlers on the field when the other team has the ball. On the other side of the field, the English-speaking world would be shocked if defensive coordinator Willie Martinez remains employed in Athens next year. Result: lots and lots of points. I think Ga Tech should win, but UGA may be able to score enough to keep it within 8. So, I'll take the 'dogs and the points and probably regret it on Sunday.

Bonus Picks:

Pittsburgh at West Virginia (straight up) - Mountaineers upset the Panthers dream season.

Notre Dame (+10) at Stanford - The Cardinal will send Charlie Weis packing in a manner befitting his tenure - a narrow loss to a suposedly inferior team. So, I guess I'm taking the Irish and the points.

More Podcasts

I figure blogging to be a little light on a holiday week, but it is rivalry week and there are some big games this weekend, so we decided to do some more podcasts. Hope you enjoy.

Alabama-Auburn, and other stuff, with Brocktoon and Carter Slade:



Georgia-Georgia Tech with Herschel Talker:



Ole Miss-MSU with friend of the blog and MSU grad James:



Tennessee- Kentucky with Full Monte Kiffin:



Plus some bonus banter and a major broadcasting faux pas:



P.S. I intend to put up a picks post tomorrow for the weekend games.

Local News breaks actual news, film at 11

This video of a local Louisiana newscast is funny mostly because of the treatment of the outcome of a college football game as near-apocalypse.  It's the most hyperbolic over-reaction to a loss since, well, you know.  You'd think the local news in a place raveged by Hurrican Katrina a few short years ago would have a slightly better sense of perspective.  This is Louisiana so, of course, you would be wrong.

I also like this video for pointing out that Les Miles' attempt at CYA in claiming he doesn't know who called for the spike is a little disingenuous given the video of him signaling to spike the ball.  Paraphrasing the dad from A Christmas Story, "That's real news, not like that politics glop."

Speaking of dads, an anecdote from my dad's trip to Oxford yesterday:

Setting - The Grove.

Female LSU fan: (mistaking my dad and his friend for Ole Miss fans) Tiiiger bait!!

My dad: Roll Tide!

Female LSU fan: F*** Nick Saban!

My dad's friend: You probably did.

UGA VII dies

I'm sad to report that UGA VII has died at the ripe age of 4 (in people years). I liked UGA VI better, as he was good at biting Auburn players.

UGA, you will be missed.

Auburn: No Game = No Loss

Sorry, I couldn't help myself. I guess 7-4 is better than I expected at this point.

Nutt vs. The Hat

Well, it's here. Ole Miss vs. LSU. Biggest rivalry game of the year. The Magnolia Bowl. The 50th anniversary of the season when Ole Miss beat LSU 21-0 in the Sugar Bowl and only allowed a total of 76 yards of offense to the Tigers.

Lot of questions about tomorrow's big game in Oxford. Will Jordan Jefferson play and if so, will he be effective? Will Dexter McCluster continue his amazing display on offense? What will Jon Chavis' defense do to contain Dexter? If Peterson shuts down Shay Hodge, will Jevan be able to connect to other receivers? Will the new offensive line for Ole Miss have another good day opening holes and giving Snead time to find those receivers? Will Sandra Bullock lead the Hotty Toddy before the game? Will the Klan realize how idiotic they look and sound in front of Fulton Chapel in the "free speech zone" before they leave (hopefully for good)?

Most Rebel fans will tell you that the last two games of the year are both big rivalry games, but with different aspects to the games. LSU is the rival we love to beat more than anyone else. MSU is the team we dread losing to more than anyone else.

More often than not this game is played close. I don't expect anything different tomorrow at 2:30. Vegas was right last week and I was wrong. I thought UT and their vaunted defense would come in and shut down the Rebel offense. Again this week, Vegas has Ole Miss as 4 point favorites. An unranked team playing at home against a top 10 team is favored by 4? I would LOVE to believe that Ole Miss wins this game by 4 or more and marches on to the Capital One Bowl on New Year's Day.

But, I can't. Don't get me wrong. I'll be cheering for the Rebels and hope they pull it out. But, my skeptical Rebel heart has been broken too many times. LSU wins this one in a close one by 3 and the Rebels get a repeat trip to Dallas as a consolation prize after running by the Leghumpers next week.

GO TO HELL LSU!
HOTTY TODDY!
FORWARD REBELS!

Picks - Week 12

Our standings (last week, overall):

Chuck Visor: 7-2, 50-29

Drake McHugh, Esq.: 6-3, 44-35

Max Power: 6-3, 43-27

Full Monte Kiffin: 7-2, 39-30

Brocktoon: 3-6, 39-40

Carter Slade: 1-0, 25-19

Woody Widenhoefer: 0-0, 22-18

Dick C'est Bon: 0-0, 14-12

Arnold Porkzenegger: 0-0, 3-4

Herschel Talker: 0-0, 0-1

Miss. State (+11.5) at Arkansas - SEC Network 12:21 ET - MSU is improved everywhere but in the win-loss column. Oh, yeah, and they laid an egg against Bama at home last week. What chance should I give them to show any life against Arky? They need to win both of their last 2 games just to get bowl eligible. I think the cowbells will save all their emotion for the Egg Bowl next week. Hawgs roll.

Chattanooga at Alabama (no line) - SEC Network (split coverage) 12:21 ET - The only interesting question is how long Ingram stays in and whether he gets the stats he needs for his Heisman campaign. Roll Tide.

Florida International (+45) at Florida - (PPV) 12:30 ET - Bama beat FIU 40-14 back in September. Urban will want to beat the Airport by more than that. Go Gators!

LSU (+4) at Ole Miss - CBS 3:30 ET - I got burned last week because I thought Auburn and Tennessee should have been favored so I took them plus points. Vegas knew more than I did, as both UGA and Ole Miss covered. This week, I'd expect LSU to be favored in this game. Vegas says it's the Rebs that have the upper hand. With fear and loathing, I'll take the fightin's Nutts. PS, don't wear white to the game, you may be sending an unintended message.

Vanderbilt (+17) at Tennessee - ESPNU 7:00 ET - Some rivalry. UT is 70-27-5 all time against the smart kids. Vandy last won in 2005, and that was their first win in 22 years. Last year, when Vandy went 6-6 in the regular season and won the Music City Bowl, the 'Dores were actually favored by 3 and, in true Vandy fashion, lost 20-10. Vols need the win to get bowl eligible. Despite their off-field troubles, I like UT to win, and win comfortably, just not by 17. Give me the Dores and the points. I'll regret it Sunday.

Kentucky (+9.5) at Georgia - ESPN2 7:45 ET - Herschel Talker said earlier in the season that all these close Georgia games might make him have a heart attack. Well, apparently Uga VII couldn't take it any more. Even without their mascot, I think the Dawgs can handle the Cats. But can they beat 'em by 10? I think that UK can keep it close. I'll take UK and the points.

Auburn (+5) v. Bye Week - Auburn's the kind of team this year that could lose in a bye week, AMIRIGHT?

Bonus Picks:

Ohio State (-12.5) at Meeshagan - Right now, Michigan couldn't beat Western Michigan (of the Mich directional schools, they're the bad one). Buckeyes roll. Remember the Rose Bowl, they'll lose to Oregon then.

Harvard at Yale - the 126th playing of The Game. The Elis leads the all-time series 65-52-8. But the Crimson have won the last 2 and 7 of the last 8. Harvard (6-3, 5-1) will end up 2nd in the Ivy after losing to Penn last week. Yale (4-5, 2-4) is having a down year. Crimson signal-caller Winters will light it up in the air in the first half, then Gordon will punish the Bulldogs on the ground in the second. Illegitimum non Carborundum -- ipso facto!